HUMAN BEINGS CALLED INTERMEDIATE STEP
ON WAY TO A LOGICAL SPECIES
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IRAN MAY BECOME 51ST STATE;
ONLY SAFE WAY TO GET NUKES.
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GLOBALIZATION UPDATE:
CHINA BECOMES BIG SPENDER WHILE
UNCLE SAM BECOMES BROKO DE JOKO
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MILITANTS VOW TO EXPORT PRODUCTS
THAT CAN BE SOLD AT WAL-MART.
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SUICIDE BOMBER ARRIVES AT ENTRANCE
TO PARADISE
AT SAME TIME AS VICTIMS.
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A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY TO THE
JUNKYARD OF GREAT IDEAS
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TERROR OR ERROR –
WHAT'S THE REAL BATTLE OF OUR TIME? 
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GREAT WALL OF CHINA MAY BE REPAIRED
WITH LEAD-TAINTED TOYS
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NEW GOVERNMENT STUDY FAILS TO LOCATE
MEXICANS WHO KNOW WHAT A LADDER IS
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NORTH KOREA RISKS NEW DEFINITION OF M. A. D.
AS MANIAC'S ASSURED DESTRUCTION
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THE AMERICAN UMPIRE.
CONDUCTING THE AMERICAN EMPIRE IN A WAY
AS FAIR AS THE CALLS IN YANKEE STADIUM.
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WHAT IF THE MOST POWERFUL NATION
ON EARTH WAS IRAN?
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AMERICA MAY BECOME NONALIGNED NATION;
CITES WORLDWIDE INGRATITUDE 
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A NEW WORK LIST FOR THE HUMAN RACE;
GIVEN OUR CURRENT WORK HABITS,
WE SHOULD COULD USE ONE
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CASTRO SURVIVES; MILLIONS MOURN;
CUBA LIBRE? NOT YET, AMIGO!
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DEMAGOGUERY FOR DUMMIES:
HOW TO CONVINCE PEOPLE YOU'RE A SAINT
DESPITE EXPLOSIVE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY
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MAKE WAR AS MAKE NICE:
ISRAEL'S COMMENDABLE BUT COSTLY MILITARY TACTIC
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U. N. IDENTIFIES THREE NEW
HUMAN SOURCES OF GLOBAL WARMING
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UNCLE SAM'S SHAKY TRANSITION TO EMPIRE;
HAVING THE RIGHT STRATEGY
SHOULD WOULD HELP
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A BOMB FOR A BOMB;
WHAT HATH TERRORISM WROUGHT
BUT
A NEW CODE OF HAMMURABI?
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IRAQ OPENS SUICIDE BOMBER RANGE;
HAILS IT AS TWICE-BLESSED
PARADISE EXPRESS
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NUCLEAR PANDHANDLING:
NORTH KOREA AND IRAN SEEK TO TRADE
THREATS OF OBLIVION FOR ARMS
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AIRHEAD BEHAVIOR
BECOMES NEW HUMAN NORM
AS UNDERACHIEVEMENT REACHES NEW HEIGHTS
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WHY AL-QAEDA'S PROMISE OF PARADISE
IS FUNDAMENTALLY ILLOGICAL
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SEX CHANGE PROCEDURE CREATES NEW SPECIES,
NEITHER ALL MALE NOR ALL FEMALE
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1/4 OF WORLD'S OIL RESERVES IN ARTIC;
U. S. SEEKS TO JOIN OPEC
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MEXICO SOLVES IMMIGRATION PROBLEM;
BECOMES PART OF CHINA
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HAPPY TRAILS, AMERICA!
BUT WHERE ARE THEY?
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THEORY OF EVOLUTION CHALLENGED
BY FRENCH CHEF;
CITES ROLE OF FOOD AND WINE
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SUN TO BURN ONLY FIVE BILLION MORE YEARS;
HUMANS EXPRESS CONCERN
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BIN LADEN RELEASES ANOTHER AUDIOTAPE;
HIDEOUT TOO DARK TO SHOOT VIDEO
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THE ILLOGICAL PUPPET OF IRAN;
ANY CHANCE OF GETTING THE LITTLE GUY
A NEW SCRIPT?
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THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN OF MASS MEDIA;
INFORMATION EVERYWHERE,
PHILOSOPHY NOWHERE 
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DAILY LIFE AND MASS HYSTERIA
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OK, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.
WHICH ONE DO YOU SAVE FIRST –
THE BABY,
THE OLD TESTAMENT,
THE NEW TESTAMENT,
OR THE KORAN?
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HUMOROUS FICTION
1. TOTALLY SAFE SEX
2. SUICIDE BOMBER SHOPS FOR LIFE INSURANCE
3. MAKE THAT AN OUNCE OF GAS
4. ABSTINENCE, OR JUST SAY NOT TO SEX
5. DO-IT-YOURSELF HEART SURGERY
6. IF EMBRYOS COULD TALK
7. MASS MURDERER SHOOTS SELF FIRST
8. THE INVENTION OF EVERYTHING
9. THE TOPLESS CPA
10. TOYOTA BECOMES NUMBER ONE CAR COMPANY; THANKS GENERAL MOTORS
11. HOMELAND INSECURITY
12. MODERN MAN LOSES MEMORY
13. DEPRESSED RABBIT ATTEMPTS SUICIDE
14. COME OUT WITH YOUR CHECKBOOK OPEN
15. BIN LADEN'S GARDEN OF EARTHLY FRIGHTS
16. AL-QAEDA IN HELL,
OR ALLAH'S SURPRISING INGRATITUDE
17. SURPRISE VISITORS
AT
GROUP OF SEVEN SUMMIT
18. AUTO EXEC REPLACED BY ROBOT
19. A REVISED HISTORY OF PASTA
20. DICK CHENEY'S WARTIME ORPHANAGE
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