CLEVER MONKEY OF THE WEEK

Hamid Karzai, pressed by the Bush administration and freedom-clutching countries everywhere to obviate the execution of the man accused of converting from Islam to Catholicism, has apparently been able to maneuver behind the scenes to have the case thrown out on grounds that seem less than strenuously examinable, such as “not enough evidence,” or the convert may be insane because “he keeps hearing voices.”

Then, a couple of days later, the Bible-toting offender was released from prison and just “disappeared,” lest the misguided mullahs clamoring for his life get their blood-soaked way.  In their rage, he has become “an apostate,” which they view as punishable by death, although there is no recorded instance of the execution of a so-called apostate by Mohammed himself.  

Fittingly, Italy, home to the Catholic Church, as well as to its once-powerful antecedent, The Holy Roman Empire, offered the endangered man asylum. 

However Mr. Karzai pulled off the release and disappearance, we salute his ingenuity.  Although legislators continued to clamor for his captivity at this writing, we’re confident Hamid will prevail.  If not, off go his epaulettes, and we will demote him from his distinguished status as Clever Monkey of the Week.

Returning to contemplate the incensed mullahs, do we find ourselves observing people who would have felt they were on God’s side by conducting the Inquisition? 

The question for the modern world is, how do you shine a little light under all those sweaty black turbans?  Since philosophical acumen seldom plays a role in the conduct of our willfully mindless society, we must, by regrettable default, turn to the trifling remedies that currently prevail.

Given the Islamic fundamentalists’ disdain for music, perhaps they should be persuaded to listen to Burt Bacharach’s and Hal David’s old chestnut, “What The World Needs Now Is Love.”  If that doesn’t prove sufficiently reformative, they might also be condemned to a really tortured   hour or so harkening to the Beatles’ “All You Need Is Love.”

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