CLEVER MONKEY OF THE WEEK

Floyd Landis
For winning the Tour De France With A Little Help From His Testicles

By now you know that Floyd Landis, who made an astonishing comeback effort to win the Tour De France, has tested positive for doping, to be exact, to having four times as much testosterone is his blood than usual. It seems that higher testosterone levels can be stimulated by the ingestion of performance-enhancing drugs.

Yet, according to an expert, the build up can only occur over time and Floyd tested negatively earlier in the competitive wheel of fortune.

Of course, Floyd denies the doping.

A second test is being conducted and, if that turns out positive, he’ll be disqualified and Spain’s second arrival at the finish line will be declared the winner in an unrousing ceremony.

First, we ask, what’s the coincidence between the Tour De France and testicles?

As you know, Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with testicular cancer but recovered.

Now, we must ask, can Floyd Landis be diagnosed with testicular chicanery and recover?

Then there’s still the minor cosmic question of why Lance’s first name begins with an “L” and Floyd’s last one does. This question is obviously beyond the bounds of pure reason.

We hope he is proven innocent, so we can rejoice in the natural capacity of his testicles, when challenged, to stimulate him with its vital performance enhancer.

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