The Sanely Funny Humor Magazine

OK, The House Is On Fire.
Which One Do You Save First?

Do you save one of the books of holy writ or the helpless babe? Be fair. You can only save one. No time for two. The flames are at your fanny.

Yes, there's some chance you can go back for a second rescue attempt, but right now the hope is too risky to influence your decision.

Letís say you pick one of the books. What will the people, who happen to see your choice through a flame-fraught window, think of you? And, as you rush out of the incinerating house and the baby goes up in flames with it, how will they welcome you?

Now, letís say you decide to save the baby and make for the exit. What will the people looking in the window think of you now? And when you rush out with the infant in your arms, while the house and its remaining contents are going up in flames, how will they greet you?

Even more to the point, which choice will make them think you're more religious?

Now, imagine that the house is the world aflame with terrorism, war, and an occasional inquisition and the baby is any person's life or, since we're at a particularly risky time, all of human life.

If you would still pick one of the books and leave the baby to the flames, please, answer the following four questions.

1. Did the book teach you to make the choice you did?

2. Did you possibly misunderstand the overall intent of the book?

3. Do people think more highly of your religion because of what you did?

4. Will the God the book teaches you to serve reward you for your behavior?

Now, letís imagine something even more terrible. What if the fire didnít start by accident but you set it to kill the baby Ė and the people looking in the window saw you light it?

Once again, please answer the four questions.

Since we can never know what the potential of any baby is until it has had time to grow up and reveal it, what if you learned that the baby was actually the infant Moses, Jesus, or Mohammed, come back to update his teachings.

Once again, please answer the four questions.

Let us express our own opinion.

We think, if you chose the babe, you are an ethical person and your religion is to be commended for whatever it has inculcated in you about right behavior.

On the other hand, if you chose the book, we think you are an unethical person and your religion cannot be commended for the values it has inculcated in you. Since you could choose which values in the book would guide you, we are willing to concede that you are primarily responsible for your behavior.

Now, letís talk about eternal prospects.

If you believe in one God, as all three books encourage you to do, then, no matter what name you call Him, He is the ultimate source of none other than the babe.

What about the book? Even though you maintain it was inspired by the God you believe in, it was recorded and passed down by men in the hope of communicating the sort of behavior they believed God told them is good.

Now, we come to the big question. Back at the burning building, what choice would such a God make? We believe He would choose the baby.

Why? The tyke is none other than the very embodiment of life itself and therefore a living represenative of the source of all life.

Certain reformative conclusions seem to follow:

Incinerating people is not the way to please God; therefore, it is not the way to be whisked off to a heavenly reward.

Incinerating people is not the way to distinguish a religion, particularly one that is inspired by such a God. It is, in fact, the most likely way to disgrace it or, if you will, to pull the prayer rug out from under it.

Finally, we maintain you are much more likely to serve what you consider the Creator of life by putting the babe, or any other life, first.

We hope you found enough value in this article to agree that it merits a place in our current perusal of the worldís persistently explosive events.

By the way, if youíre in a life-affirming mindset and would like to learn more about the commendable idea of putting life first, regardless of what else you believe, we suggest you go to, where you can enjoy a free read of the highly commendable and soundly reasoned book by Charles Blaise, Life Itself As A Modern Religion.

By Tom Attea