DOLLARS AND NONSENSE

RETIREMENT PLANNING AND GLOBAL WARMING

While many people enjoy thinking about and planning for their retirement, very few take into consideration the effects of global warming.  This oversight can prove particularly costly if, like many retirees, you’re considering buying a beachfront home. 

By planning ahead, you can choose an elevation that is more likely to remain above sea level.  You can also save a great deal if you buy now, because the people you’re buying from will not, in all likelihood, realize that they’re parting with what will be, within a few decades, an oceanfront property. 

The way to calculate the elevation you should consider is quite simple.  For instance, current estimates are that, due to thawing ice at the poles and on higher mountaintops, the world’s oceans are rising at approximately 0.5 mm per year.  Just take the number of years until you expect to retire and multiply it by .5 mm. 

For instance, if you plan to stay on the job for 30 more years, you can easily ascertain that any land that is now 15 mm or more above sea level will then be right at the lip of the waves.  If you’re considering a location to retire to, you may want to take out your ruler and visit some properties in the area that are low-lying but not yet right on the beach. 

Wiser souls will probably anticipate a faster rise in sea levels, due to steadily rising mean temperatures around the globe, which will likely result in ever faster melting at the Polar regions, along with the occasional plummet of entire glaciers that finally lose their grip.  We suggest that you factor such eventualities into your calculations.

To be entirely safe in planning the location of your beachfront home, we actually suggest that you overlook any terrain that at the present time is not considered mountainous.  We believe it’s wisest to give preferential treatment to elevations that are currently approximately 6,000 feet or more above sea level.  These seem, at least at this writing, like reasonably safe bets. 

We do suggest, however, that you keep in mind the old saw that there are even ancient sea shells at the top of Mount Everest.  So our final advice is, the higher, the better.

If seeing the world is on your agenda, you might do some prospecting around the peak of  Everest, but, when considering its up-and-down history, we hesitate to be forthright about the risk-reward nature of any investment there.

Actually, as we consider global warming and its effects on beachfront property, we must finally say that a safe haven may be questionable in any location. 

Overall, we think the safest bet would be to invest in a houseboat.  No matter how high the oceans rise, you won’t lose your entire investment or, worse yet, drown.  Also, if unexpected climatic events should somehow result in falling ocean levels, you can always begin cruising the coastline for beachfront bargains that are, at that time, only slightly underwater.  

Just remember to bring your ruler.

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