DOLLARS AND NONSENSE

CHINA FACES LABOR SHORTAGE. HIRES AMERICANS.

It appears that the U. S. and other western nations have finally exported enough jobs to China to create a labor shortage there, despite its enormous population. And you know what that means? Higher wages for the workers, like maybe two bowls of rice a day, and higher prices for goods produced in China. Cost-effective producers are already moving manufacturing to Korea and Viet Nam.

Although the move represents continuing proof that one of the actual benefits of capitalism is that it seeks out poor labor and thereby distributes wealth more effectively than governmental cronyism, China can’t just sit by and accept the disembarkation of manufacturing companies. So, ever responsive to the exigencies of making a buck while preserving the oppressive fiats and privileges of communism, the leadership has announced an innovative program, dubbed “Hire Americans!”

After all, we’re now the country with the big pool of available workers.

To effect the change, the government has ordered Chinese corporations in dire need of low-cost labor to march to a restatement of the communist cry, “Workers of the world, unite!” It has been revised as, “Workers of the United States, Welcome!”

To facilitate the importation of American workers, the Chinese companies have begun to offer perks, including a variety of compensation options, like a choice between bowls of white or brown rice, along with amenities such as oceanfront homes with complimentary sampans.

” While some America workers have expressed an interest in exploring Chinese employment opportunities, many others have taken a wait and see attitude.

One dissenting American worker said, “Hey, man, before I’d take a job over there, I’d rather be out of work in America.”

An American executive, although out of work for nearly a year, expressed his unease, stating, “Say I go over there and work my way up to three bowls of rice a day. Then the schizophrenic government takes a conservative turn and decides to arrest all the businessmen. I could wind up paddling an irrigation wheel in a rice paddy.”

The U. S. Department of Commerce has praised the Chinese plan, noting, “It’s about time we got some sort of payback for sending our manufacturing base over there.”

Meanwhile, despite continuing skepticism among American workers of the benefits of taking a job in China, the Chinese government has commanded the companies in its not-so-free enterprise system to launch a massive recruiting effort in America, featuring smiling America’s, with the headline: “I found my job in China.” The slogan for the campaign will remain the approved rallying cry, “Workers of America, Welcome!” ”

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