DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

Israel To Recognize Palestine’s Right To Exist

After decades of militant resistance to the inevitable, Israel plans to recognize Palestine’s right to exist. Palestinians, who have by now grown used to the belief that they are the ones who get to decide which state has a right to exist, were bewildered by the surprise announcement.

They also puzzled over whether it means they really ought to acknowledge Israel's right to exist.

The Hamas faction of the proposed unity government remained particularly confused, demanding Israel explain exactly what it means by its recognition of Palestine’s right to exist.

Hamas also insisted that any recognition of Israel could only be addressed after certain recurrent provocations were ended, such as militant Jewish grandmothers acting as suicide bombers and malcontent Orthodox Jews firing rockets into Gaza and the West Bank that are loaded with matzo balls.

Undaunted by the intense confusion among Palestinians, Israel continued to forge ahead with its innovative plan, saying that, even if Hamas refuses to recognize Israel's right to exist, it plans to move ahead independently to recognize Palestine.

Israel’s continued insistence on recognition of Palestine only served to cause even more head scratching among Palestinians, with the leader of Hamas declaring, "What do the Israelis mean? I don't know what the ramifications of such a go-it-alone policy are. I have to think about it. We're a state, but they're not? How does that work?"

Ehud Olmert said, "In Yiddish we call what we gave them a real kinnahurra. But it's for their own good. We can only hope they eventually figure it out."

Given the new willingness to face reality on the Israeli side, there may finally be the real possibility of a tit-for-tat two-state agreement.

According to an official Israeli announcement, the shish-kabob is now in the court of the Palestinians, where Hamas radicals are still attempting to decide if they can make a break with their past and adjust to having a state they can call their own.

Meanwhile, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas did figure out that the Israeli plan is a good one and has cancelled talks with Hamas about a unity government until the long-time terrorist organization figures it out for themselves. He is flying to New York for a meeting with the United Nations, at which time he is expected to say, “If Israel says Palestine has a right to exist, I’m ready to say Israel has a right to exist. I only ask that they keep their grandmothers and motzah balls to themselves.”

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