DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

Iraqi People Beg For Coalition Forces To Remain;
Desire More Sectarian Violence

A recent poll of Iraqis has shown that they’re actually begging for coalition forces to remain in Iraq for as long as possible. It seems they’ve gotten so used to sectarian violence that they just don’t know how they could live without it. Of course, there’s the complicating factor that they also don’t know how they can live with it.

Yet, overall, they seem, Shiite, Sunni, and Kurd alike, absolutely delighted by the regular toll of kidnappings, torture, and assassinations.

While at first they wished there was some way that coalition forces could control the mayhem, once they realized that was impossible, they just got into the swing of the daily toll of death and destruction.

Regarding the question of whether the mere presence of coalition forces contributes to the violence, an Iraqi stated, “Of course, but that’s exactly why we want them to stay. Sudden death is so exciting.”

Another Iraqi commented, “What you fail to understand is that Iraqis are really determined to learn the hard way. We don’t expect to make peace with each other until we kill off at least another ten or twenty percent of our population.”

The new Iraqi government was in complete agreement. President Nouri al-Maliki said, “Coalition forces can’t leave, unless they take us with them. We know how the insurgents want to reduce sectarian violence. The Shiite militias want to get into the Green Zone and kill the Sunni politicians, and the Sunni death squads want to come in and kill the Shiite politicians. Then the Sunnis want to set Saddam Hussein free, so he and his fellow henchmen can kill the Kurdish politicians. Of course, right after all that sectarian bloodletting, peace will descend on the living and mostly the dead, and, frankly, we prefer not to be among the dead.”

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