DREADLINE

England May Deport Muslim Extremists To Ireland

Given the recent rash of attempted bombings in England by Muslim shock docs, the new government of Gordon Brown may deport all Muslim extremists to Ireland.

“We’ve been looking all over the UK,” Mr. Brown told reporters, “and quite frankly deporting these religious extremists to Ireland seems like the right choice.”

“Why is that?” a reporter queried.

“Where else in the UK do people have so much experience with religious extremism?” Mr. Brown explained. “The Irish are quite expert at it. So they’re just the ones to take the shillelagh to it.”

“But the Catholics and the Protestants have recently made at least a workable peace in Ireland?” another reporter noted.

“Exactly,” Mr. Brown confided. “And that recommends the tactic even more. Imagine being a Muslim extremist, faced with a united front of Irish Catholics and Protestants. If that’s not enough to make you toe the line, I can’t imagine what is.”

“What about the peace-loving members of the Muslim community? I understand there are a number of them. Don’t you think the deportation to Ireland will cause a backlash?”

“They have to understand we’re doing it for their protection, too,” Brown insisted. “All Muslims in England will be a lot safer when the public knows all the militants are in Ireland for remedial training.”

Before initiating the deportation, the British government is consulting with the two religious factions in Ireland to see if they’ll agree to take on the job.

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