DREADLINE

Chavez Closes Radio Station; Music Too Latin For Communism

Recently shutting down a Venezuelan TV station that disagreed with his policies, Hugo Chavez further tightened his grip on the South American nation by closing a leading radio station. According to him, it was guilty of broadcasting too much Latin music, which, he maintains is inconsistent with communism.

“This station plays Latin music 24-hours a day," he stated, "and the beat is just too exciting for communism. It incites the workers to want to have fun."

His action precipitated immediate objections from the management of the radio station. A spokesman for the broadcaster said, “What’s wrong with Latin music? This is Latin America, isn’t it?”

Chavez was quick to respond, saying, “That’s something else I intend to change. The name Latin America upsets me. It reminds me of North America. So I plan to change the name of the entire region to Chavez Country. And how do you like those coconuts?”

Students, along with a smattering of recalcitrant adults, took to the streets, demanding, “Latin music is our birthright!” “Salsa, Si! Socialism, No!” And “Bossa Nova, Yes! Bossa Chavez, No!”

Despite the demonstrations, the radio station remained closed, and Hugo Chavez was rumored to be searching the record stores for music more to his liking. Unfortunately, the musical tradition of communism is limited.

Unswayed by the scarcity, he ordered the state takeover of all record outlets and the immediate installation of new sections, including Top Ten Communist Hits, Socialist Swing, and Rockin’ Workers of the World.

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