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Music Fans Extract Hits From Albums; Music Execs Demand Novocain

As music fans well know and widely resent, the music business has traditionally sold one or two songs per album that people actually want to listen to with a lot of other songs that, regardless of their merit, very few people have any interest in. The price was, however, right for the music biz.

Now, thanks to iTunes and other music-mongering download services, fans can cherry pick their favorite songs and leave the others tracks sitting silently online and, even more importantly, unpaid for.

Music execs have voiced increasing pain due to the extractions. In fact, the pain has now reached such intensity that the execs have appealed to fans to desist or contribute to a fund intended to provide their aching bottom lines with a steady supply of Novocain.

The executives hope that, once they have a ready supply of that remarkable anodyne, they’ll be able to reverse the timeworn training expression “No pain, no gain” and console themselves with, “No gain, but no pain.”

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