FOREIGN INTRIGUE

MEXICO AGREES TO REDUCE ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION.  PRESIDENT AND CABINET WILL STAY PUT.

Mexico has agreed to limit illegal immigration into the United States. President Vincente Fox, whose last name always strikes us as remarkably un-Mexican, pledged that neither he nor any other member of the government would try to enter the U. S. illegally.

As for other members of the Mexican population, he remained generally noncommittal, stating, “I understand the need to have secure borders with the United States, but I can’t speak for every Mexican, particularly those who have labored long and hard to dig tunnels under the border.”

The American representative lauded the negotiations as a step forward in what would “inevitably be a long process.” “We’re delighted with the degree of cooperation we’ve gotten from President Fox,” he said. “Now, we at least know that he and his government will remain in Mexico, so we can continue to have meaningful discussions about challenges to border security.”

At no time during the conversation did anyone allude to the fact that their exclusive references to “border security,” instead of the occasional use of “illegal immigration,” was calculated not to inflame the currently heated demonstrations and pending legislation in the U. S. about that thorny topic.

The American negotiator did affirm, “America is open to all.” He then went on to say, “The only thing we require is that when people arrive, they do so above ground and, when they’ve finished their business in America, they come back home to Mexico the same way."

President Fox said he was in complete agreement, noting, “Since the government has pledged to remain in Mexico, it’s clear that, if we intend to remain a country, we need some citizens.”

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