FOREIGN FUN

North Korea Throws Nuclear Tantrum;
Cries For More Monetary Milk

Hear little Kim Jong Il wail, “Wah! Wah!” I need more financial aid, and, so I’m going to throw a nuclear tantrum, until you give me all the monetary milk I need. And just to make his point, he actually did go and set off an underground nuclear test.

The testy child is afflicted with an oppressive anomaly. In a world where one Asian newborn after another is growing in a remarkably healthy way, he’s just doesn’t seem to have the physical wherewithal to keep up.

Evidently, feeling famished is also affecting his developing brain. Why else would he wear those really big, plastic sunglasses and look unusually pale and strange, ever closer, in fact, to having a face with what is known as a flat affect. We won’t even mention a haircut that looks as if he shaved it himself with the possible guidance of a stewpot

Are we to heed his cry? Can we possibly provide enough nourishment to satisfy the desperate child? Of course, not. No financial formula can make him as healthy as his vigorous Asian rivals.

No matter how much the testy tyke explodes, the only remedy for this infant terrible is to change his own behavior, so that he can grow up to be his best Korea in a peaceful and likable way?

It shouldn’t be an impossible adjustment, especially at a time a sibling like communist China is flirting with extraordinary freedoms such as giving its citizens the right to decide what’s for dinner.

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