FOREIGN FUN

Fish Flee China; Can’t Stand The Food

China’s trade problems worsened, as fish, which had been denied importation to the United States unless they could be certified as free of harmful chemicals, began to flee China.

They were seen flopping out of rearing ponds and tail-walking toward the nearest streams and rivers. The Yang-Se and other major waterways were reportedly overflowing with the departing fish.

When the official Chinese press agency learned of the sudden flight, a reporter was sent to interview them.

He boarded a raft and, heading downstream, held out his mike, and asked the escapees, “Why are you leaving China?”

“Do you know what they feed us?” one fish bubbled.

“A chemical feast!” another one gurgled.

“Really?” the reporter asked, being officially skeptical of any news that might incriminate the inarguably impeccable conduct of the Chinese regime.

“Where do you think we got this ultraviolet glow?” a third fleeing fish demanded.

“We need to wash those contaminants right out of our bodies,” another one announced.

Then the finny creatures splashed off to wherever the rivers would lead them, hoping to find freedom from food-borne contaminants.

Meanwhile, Americans who had consumed excessive amounts of seafood from China continued to find consolation in the brilliant realization that they could now light their homes simply by entering them.

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