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SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

FACING DEFEAT IN WAR OF WORDS IN IRAQ,
U. S. LAUNCHES OPERATION THESAURUS.

The new offensive is aimed at the euphemistic resources of the enemy, wherever they may be lurking. The attack targets intentionally misleading words that have infiltrated the media and even the Pentagon, such as "jihad" and "insurgency."
FULL STORY

DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

SADDAM HUSSEIN SEEKS MCDONALD'S FRANCHISE

Saddam Hussein, in his latest bid to escape execution for crimes against his own people, has reportedly applied to McDonald’s for a franchise.

The application is widely regarded as a move by his defense team to convince the court that, if his life is spared, he will be a model citizen in the Iraq of the future. 

In his application, Hussein states that he has a great deal of fast-food experience from his months on the run.
FULL STORY

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SHREDITORIAL

Should people be able to achieve fame and misfortune by killing someone or by perpetrating some other execrable act?FULL STORY

HEY, USA

NEW ORLEANS UPDATE

Fats Domino attributes Katrina survival to inflated body; Mayor Nagen admits whites drowned, too.
FULL STORY

FOREIGN FRIENDS
AND WOES


FRENCH YOUTHS PROTEST
PINK SLIP RULE

They insist that when a woman puts on a slip, it should be black or white, so they know what's on her mind.
FULL STORY

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

Senator Bill Frist admits his last name is misspelled. Blames great grandparents.
FULL STORY

HILARIOUS SPOOF
OF THE WEEK


DO-IT-YOURSELF HEART SURGERY

Due to rising healthcare costs, more and more people are taking a do-it-yourself approach to surgery. The FDA has not yet approved the practice.
FULL STORY

DOLLARS AND NONSENSE

Planning on retiriing to a beachfront home? Don't forget to allow for rising sea levels.
FULL STORY

WHAT THE TECH

Apple to make computers that run on Windows. Loyal users irate
FULL STORY

HEALTH AND PRICES

Rising costs have prompted a surge in self-surgery. Click here to read the article. Then click on our Spoof of the Week, which presents an actual case history.
FULL STORY

LAW AND DISORDER

Enron trial garners low ratings. Networks threaten to cancel it.
FULL STORY

CULTURE

American classical composer takes radical step of composing music he feels will attract an audience.
FULL STORY

WHAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

In wake of Pink Panther pans, Steve Martin vows next movie will have a script.
FULL STORY

SPORTS SHORTS

"Green" high-school basketball team saves electricity by switching from shorts to thermal underwear.
FULL STORY

CLEVER MONKEY
OF THE WEEK

Osama Bin Laden reevaluates business model. Cites widespread dissatisfaction with corporate lifestyle and employee concern about safety hazards.
FULL STORY

WEATHER & POLLUTION

Are bleached coral reefs caused by global warming or by doing the laundry with Clorox?
FULL STORY

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Current events are like passing ships on a wide river, with various passengers waving and shouting for your attention.  You should keep one eye on the river, so you live in your time.  You can also step into the river, if you wish to participate in the events.  Just don’t get washed away.  You live on or should often return to the bank, where, despite what happens on the passing river, you can find time to enjoy life, especially if you read Newslaugh." Newslaugh

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