SHREDITORIAL
Should people be able to achieve fame and misfortune by killing someone or by perpetrating some other execrable act?FULL STORY
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HEY, USA
NEW ORLEANS UPDATE
Fats Domino attributes Katrina survival to inflated body; Mayor Nagen admits whites drowned, too.
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FOREIGN FRIENDS
AND WOES
FRENCH YOUTHS PROTEST
PINK SLIP RULE
They insist that when a woman puts on a slip, it should be black or white, so they know what's on her mind.
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WASHINGTON
SPIN DIN
Senator Bill Frist admits his last name is misspelled. Blames great grandparents.
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HILARIOUS SPOOF
OF THE WEEK
DO-IT-YOURSELF HEART SURGERY
Due to rising healthcare costs, more and more people are taking a do-it-yourself approach to surgery. The FDA has not yet approved the practice.
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DOLLARS
AND NONSENSE
Planning on retiriing to a beachfront home? Don't forget to allow for rising sea levels.
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WHAT
THE TECH
Apple to make computers that run on Windows. Loyal users irate
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HEALTH
AND PRICES
Rising costs have prompted a surge in self-surgery. Click here to read the article. Then click on our Spoof of the Week, which presents an actual case history.
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LAW
AND DISORDER
Enron trial garners low ratings. Networks threaten to cancel it.
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CULTURE
American classical composer takes radical step of composing music he feels will attract an audience.
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| WHAT'S ENTERTAINMENT
In wake of Pink Panther pans, Steve Martin vows next movie will have a script.
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SPORTS SHORTS
"Green" high-school basketball team saves electricity by switching from shorts to thermal underwear.
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CLEVER MONKEY
OF THE WEEK
Osama Bin Laden reevaluates business model. Cites widespread dissatisfaction with corporate lifestyle and employee concern about safety hazards.
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WEATHER
& POLLUTION
Are bleached coral reefs caused by global warming or by doing the laundry with Clorox?
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QUOTE
OF THE WEEK
"Current events are like passing ships on a wide river, with various passengers waving and shouting for your attention. You should keep one eye on the river, so you live in your time. You can also step into the river, if you wish to participate in the events. Just don’t get washed away. You live on or should often return to the bank, where, despite what happens on the passing river, you can find time to enjoy life, especially if you read Newslaugh." Newslaugh
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