SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY
BUSH MEETS MALIKI
MAY TRADE JOBS
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President Bush made a surprise trip to Iraq to meet with new Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. Bush assured Maliki that the U. S. will continue to support the stabilization and rebuilding of Iraq, and
Maliki affirmed that he would do everything in his power to increase Mr. Bush’s approval ratings.
After further discussions, the two leaders agreed that the best way to accomplish both goals may be to trade jobs.
President Bush stated, “I’m very involved in the U. S. involvement in Iraq and know not all Americans believe we can win here. Since I know we can win, I may well decide that the best way to achieve the goal is to take Prime Minister al-Maliki’s job. If I decide to do so, I will consider it an honor to become Iraqi Prime Minster George Bush.”
Prime Minister al-Maliki joined in, saying, “Then you can address me as American President Nouri al-Maliki. I know this proposed job switch will be a big surprise to Americans, but Prime Minister Bush and I have discussed how this might be a way to give America a President with a higher approval rating. I know language will be a problem for both of us, but I’ve been listening to Mr. Bush, and I think my mistakes in English are not that much more bad than his."
While many Americans were uncertain about the proposed switch, they were willing to adopt a wait and see attitude.
As one American commented, “Look, if the former Iraqi Prime Minister does a good job as the President of the United States, I’m OK with that. In fact, I’ll vote to reelect him in 2008. I just need certain assurances, like seeing him say The Pledge of Allegiance.”
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DREADLINE OF THE WEEK
AL-QAEDA IN IRAQ ANNOUNCES NEW LEADER. OR DO THEY?
In the wake of sudden death of its now fragmented leader, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Al-Qaeda in Iraq polled its somewhat shaken members about who would like to take over Mr. Zarqawi’s job.
After a determined search, the group was able to find a terrorist who, though expressing understandable reluctance, was eventually persuaded to accept the expectedly short-lived position.
The usual amateurish Webcast was quickly arranged, and the new leader, flanked by other terrorists wearing the standard black face disguises, introduced himself as Abu Hamza al-Muhajer.
Unfortunately, no one on the side of the infidels had ever heard of him, even the most erudite terrorist analyst. Apparently, the group had to reach far down into its ranks to locate another willing leader.
A few days later, his identity was determined. Following the announcement, his photo was taken to a U. S. firing range for target practice.
No objection was forthcoming.
Then a few days later a terrorist by the name of al-Baghdadi made a tape, claiming he is the rightful fellow who's picture should be on the firing range.
FULL STORY
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