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SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

WHY AL-QAEDA'S PROMISE OF PARADISE IS FUNDAMENTALLY ILLOGICAL


Hand lifts happy  man to heaven by beard

As we listen to the two principal culprits of Al-Qaeda attempt to motivate the unsuspecting to become suicidal dupes of their ideology, we cannot help but hear in their furious rhetoric grievous flaws.

So we decided we might save some lives by bringing to bear on their suspect promise of Paradise by way of murder the most frightening prospect a furiously brandished lie can confront: logic.

Let’s begin by reviewing the fundamental values on which their inflammatory illogic is based. When we're done we'll suggest a more likely means of ascent than belligerence, how one wears his beard, or if one dons her burkah.
FULL STORY

DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

HUMANIST TERRORISTS
NABBED IN MIAMI; PLANNED TO PLANT EXPLOSIVE BOOKS

The terrorist cell, which claims affiliation with the terror group all-Libraries, was infiltrated by an FBI informant. The leader of the terrorist humanists confided to the FBI operative that the group planned to plant explosive books in various locations throughout the United States, including the Sears Tower, a number of FBI buildings, and radical Muslim mosques.

At a news conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stated, “Fortunately, the plot by this home-grown terrorist cell was disrupted in the planning stages. The group was still trying to get funding to acquire a sufficient number of books.”

A spokesman for the humanist terrorists confessed, “Our goal was to spread enlightenment and disrupt the new Dark Age that appears to be descending on a worldwide basis.” FULL STORY

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SHREDITORIAL

Condoms Block Virus Harmful
To Women; Opponents Now
Look Even Sillier



HEY, USA

Survey Shows Politeness
In New York Is Not
A Contradiction In Terms



FOREIGN FUN

Women Speak Out In,
Of All Places,
The Middle East


WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

Senator Reveals True Weapon
Of Mass Destruction Found
In Iraq: Bad Judgment




SPOOF OF THE WEEK

Dr. Coburn Shows
How You Can
Just Say No To Sex



DOLLARS & NONSENSE

Airlines Accused Of Illicit
Effort To Survive



WHAT THE TECH

NASA To Launch Discovery Despite Objections By
Slow-Flying Birds


HEALTHY HUMOR

Psychotherapy Restores
Female Fertility;
Therapist Not Arrested


LAW & LAUGHTER

Shredded Flag Found
On Car Antenna;
Patriot Arrested



CULTURE & COMEDY

Getty Museum Decides To Donate Its Building To Italy


WHAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

Intellectual Debate About Economic Freedom



SPORTS SHORTS

American Soccer Team
Wins World Cup!




CLEVER MONKEY

Saddam Hussein
For Staging The Shortest
Hunger Strike In History



WEATHER & WILDLIFE

Earth Warmest In 2,000 Years; Heating Bills To Cool Down


WITTY QUOTE

"I do not resent criticism, even when, for the sake of emphasis, it parts with reality."
Winston Churchill

About Tom Attea, Humorist

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