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SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

NUCLEAR PANHANDLING

NORTH KOREA AND IRAN SEEK TO TRADE THREATS OF OBLIVION FOR ALMS


Leader of North Korea and leader of Iran with collection cups and nuclear missiles behind their backs

Remember nuclear blackmail? Apparently, North Korea and Iran have refined the practice into outright panhandling.

Let’s indulge, with a not entirely charitable examination, this new and nettlesome version of “Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?”

Standing on the most conspicuous street corners they can manage in our overwrought minds, they proffer their illicit cups in quest of alms, while they wiggle their nascent nuclear capabilities at our noses.

North Korea plays What The Heck’s Bad Boy and launches seven missiles obviously calculated to fly in the face of the civilized world’s most anxious hand-wringing, and Iran continues to enrich uranium while European negotiators heap ever more incentives into its cynically proffered tin.

How deserving are these increasingly irksome denizens of the diplomatic street?

And what might we more wisely do than submit to their clamorous demands for dime after dime?
FULL STORY

DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

Steven Hawking Asks How
Human Race Can Survive.
NewsLaugh Presents Ten Ideas Called “Look, Dummy.”

The brilliant British astrophysicist, Steven Hawking, has invited people via Yahoo to submit suggestions to his Website on how the human race might last another hundred years.

Given that the dinosaurs lasted about 150 million years while we’re worried about making it – given our 100,000-year-or-so history – to a mere 100,100, we decided we must, after all, be even less perspicacious about what it takes to survive than the lofty dinos.

To moderate any possible abbreviation of our stay, we thought we’d present ten ideas that we call “Look, Dummy.”

Since one of the delights of writing this informed laugh fest is the reassuring certainty that we don’t have a single reader who could even remotely be described as a dummy, these ideas are obviously intended for your amusement but might also serve as a convenience when you come across people who seem to have a certain impenetrability when it comes to the gaspingly obvious.

1. Look, Dummy: A tree.
You can’t make one, so don’t cut them all down. FULL STORY

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SHREDITORIAL

Freedom’s Walk.
Narrower But Better Than
Seeing It Blown Up




HEY, USA

Bush Reveals New Missile Defense; Guides Enemy Weapon Back To Launching Pad



FOREIGN FUN

Radical Muslims
Runs Afoul Of
Kant’s Categorical Imperative



WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

SPOOF OF THE WEEK

Dr. Coburn Shows
How You Can
Just Say No To Sex

Extended Spoof, Installment 6 Previous Installments Included


DOLLARS & NONSENSE

Unemployment Declines
As Jobs Surge
For Debt Collectors



WHAT THE TECH

Microsoft Postpones Plan
To Introduce At Least One Original Idea


HEALTHY HUMOR

Studies Show Teenage Drinking Kills Brain Cells;
Oh, That Explains Everything


LAW & LAUGHTER

Ken Lay Times Heart Attack Just Right; Foils Government Plan To Seize Assets



CULTURE & COMEDY

Venetian Painting At
The National Gallery;
When Religion And Nudity
Got Along Beautifully


WHAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

Pirates Of The Caribbean Arrives; Fans Praise
Relevance To Modern Life



SPORTS SHORTS

Wimbledon Comes Out Swinging; Games Go On Even
As England Mourns 7/7




CLEVER MONKEY

Luciano Pavarotti
For Losing Weight
The Easy Way;
He Had A Tumor Removed



WEATHER & WILDLIFE

Mammoths Prefer Blondes.
Or Is It Brunettes?



WITTY QUOTE

"Values of peace and love, freedom and fairness, achievement and environmentalism are all consonant aspects of an intelligent commitment to life."
Charles Blaise

(Quoted with permission: www.toreasonpublishing.com)

About Tom Attea, Humorist

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