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SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

IRAQ OPENS SUICIDE BOMBER RANGE

HAILS IT AS TWICE-BLESSED
PARADISE EXPRESS

Suicide Bomber About To Detonate Self In Isolated Area With Sign That Says Detonation Area: Please, Obey All Safety Precautions

In an effort to reduce the loss of life and limb by suicide bombers, the Iraqi government has opened a suicide bomber range. The government's intention is to encourage all those who are determined to carry out such an explosive termination to execute the insane plan in a way that is being hailed as twice-blessed.

The government maintains that it will be blessed because, one, the bombers will be carrying out their hope of putting themselves on the expressway to the paradise of their dreams and, two, they will accomplish their mission without blasting off with anyone else.

As Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki stated, "We have established a way for the suicide bombers to achieve their highest goal in a far more considerate way; now, they can blow themselves up in sanctimonious privacy.”
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DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

Ehud Olmert, MD, Lances Inflamed Boil; Aims To Drain Infection

Noticing that inflammatory behavior by Hezbollah and Hamas has been festering more and more acutely, Ehud Olmert, MD – in this case, Military Doctor – decided that, to avoid a wider infection, he had to lance the boil immediately.

The life-threatening activities of Hezbollah and Hamas had simply reached a point where sugical intervention became imperative.

While all who care about human life must regret the loss and maiming of it anywhere, we also know that Lebanon is too weak to clean out Hezbollah itself, while Hamas in Gaza has no intention of remedying itself.

The only hope is to drain the boil and let the healing process begin.

The most curious question is whether Dr. Olmert has a silent goahead from the West to clean the sore spot widely enough to include the terrorist-supporting leadership in Syria and the nuclear circus in Iran.
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