Iran Provides
“Multifaceted Response”
To UN Nuke Demand: Launches Ten Missiles

Iran provided its long-promised “multi-faceted” response to the proposal by Western nations that the mullahdom stop enriching uranium. It conducted war games during which ten highly photographed missiles were fired in a generally westerly direction.

Of course, the West had hoped for a more obliging answer, particularly since the proposal contains an attractive package of bribes, diplomatically referred to as incentives, which reportedly includes a selection of books that apparently are no longer readily available in the fundamentalist Islamic backwater, such as the Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol.

Western diplomats felt that the feel-good tale of crotchety meanness converted to enlightened benevolence might act as a moderating force, particularly among the gray-bearded senior members of the turbaned tyranny, who do remind the partial observer of Ebenezer Scrooge before his sudden and celebrated reformation.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel commented, "We are still examining" the Iranian response, "but from everything that I hear we cannot be satisfied.

In order to bring more clarity to its response, Iran may be compelled fire off a few more pointed missives."
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