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SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

THE AMERICAN UMPIRE Conducting The American Empire In A Way That’s As Fair As The Calls In Yankee Stadium

Umpire with hat that has American flag on it, telling Uncle Sam with bat, "I don't care who you are!  I said it's a strike!"  Other international players in background.

We were sitting here trying, as usual, to figure out how today’s America, saddled with the burdens of inadvertent empire, could conduct itself in the world so Americans are happy about how we’re doing and the rest of the world might actually either approve or have a hard time disapproving of our behavior. We finally hit on an answer that’s so moronic we knew right away it has real potential. FULL STORY

DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

Poll In Iraq Proves It's
Hard To Be Grateful When You’re Being Blown Up

One would think that the number of American lives that have been sacrificed and the enormity of American treasure that has been expended in Iraq would elicit a proportionate amount of gratitude among Iraqis. But a new poll shows that it’s hard to be grateful when you could be blown up or otherwise assassinated at any moment.

Here are instances of ingratitude that the Bush administration now has the discomfiting responsibility to stare at.

"Support for attacks on U.S.-led forces has grown to a majority position – now 6 in 10. Support appears to be related to a widespread perception, held by all ethnic groups, that the U.S. government plans to have permanent military bases in Iraq." FULL STORY

SHREDITORIAL

Swift Bank To Comply Slower


HEY, USA

This Week’s Driving Tip:
It’s Not If The Cops Are There.
It’s Where Are They?

FOREIGN FUN

Amnesty International Grants Stay Of Execution
To Victims Of Terrorism

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

SPOOF OF THE WEEK

The Invention Of Water

Part Three Of
The Invention Of Everything;
An Eyewitness Account

CULTURE & COMEDY

Woodward Publishes New Exposé: Names Secret Source “Deep Tragedy”



TECH HUMOR

Wind Power Gets Big Boost: Politicians Agree To Direct
Speeches At Turbines


CLEVER MONKEY

Mozart
For not having Mohammed’s head in the original production of Idomeneo.


WITTY QUOTE

"A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know." H. L. Menken Chrestomathy


About Tom Attea, Humorist

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