SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

COYOTE EXCUSES PREDATORY BEHAVIOR; CLAIMS WAS MOLESTED BY COCKER SPANIEL

A coyote was caught molesting a flock of lambs. Confronted about his predatory behavior, he became immediately repentant and explained how he could have fallen into such disgraceful behavior. According to the coyote, he was, as a youth, molested by a cocker spaniel.

After providing his excuse, he immediately sought rehabilitation as a vegetarian. A transcript of his entire confession follows:

I am truly sorry for molesting lambs. I just couldn’t help myself. You see, when I was a young coyote, I myself was molested by a cocker spaniel – not just once, but repeatedly, over a period of more than a year.

There I was, an innocent and youthful coyote on the prowl, with never a thought of clamping onto a lamb by the throat, dragging it to the ground, and making a meal out of it. No, sir, I was, like all normal coyotes, at least as far as I knew at that innocent time of my life, a complete vegetarian. FULL STORY

DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

What Is Islamic Behavior? Generally, How
Islamic People Behave

We’re going to attempt what, until now, seems undoable for an infidel. Write about Islamic behavior in a way that doesn’t upset Muslims or anybody else. Is that a challenge or isn’t it?

Not really. All it takes, we think with persistent resistance to despair, is unwavering fairness, inarguable logic, and adherence to the truth as best as we can know and endorse it.

So here goes.

These days, we hear a great deal about what Islamic and un-Islamic behavior is. While it’s an understandable topic of discussion, the truth is, Islamic behavior pretty much comes down to how Islamic people behave – just as any other group’s behavior pretty much comes down to how the members of the group behave.

Let’s look at two extreme examples.

First, an Islamic person says, “Kill all the infidels and, while you’re at it, kill all the other Muslims who don’t agree with me 100%!” FULL STORY

SHREDITORIAL

Oops, Almost Forgot
We’re At War

HEY, USA

Social Security And The Mystery
Of The Missing
Boomer FICA Payments

FOREIGN FUN

North Korea Throws
Nuclear Tantrum;Cries For
More Monetary Milk

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

SPOOF OF THE WEEK

The Invention Of The Sky

Part Four Of
The Invention Of Everything;
An Eyewitness Account

CULTURE & COMEDY

New Book About End Of
Life On The Earth;
Skips Beginning Of It

TECH HUMOR

Dispute Over Health Benefits
Of Fish Gets Smoky Hot

CLEVER MONKEY

The Rovers Opportunity & Spirit
For Patrolling Mars
Ten Times Longer Than Planned

WITTY QUOTE

"Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer."
C. C. Colton, Lacon

About Tom Attea, Humorist