SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

BUSH ROWS UPSTREAM IN IRAQ,
AS IN UP NIAGARA FALLS

President Bush continues to row upstream in Iraq, even though the current seems to pick up speed every minute. In fact, he seems to be rowing up Niagara Falls. But he just keeps on going, despite the fact that the majority of Americans are standing on the venerable Niagara tour boat, The Maid of the Mist, and calling out to him to quit already.

Apparently, the roar of the falls is too deafening for him to hear them. While he presents the appearance of flexibility, his goal remains the same: a peaceful, secure, and democratic Iraq. Does that sound like a fairytale or what? And can somebody please tap him on the shoulder and tell him fairytales don’t usually come true?

There’s pretty ample evidence that he should just drop the oars and slip on back down the river to more tranquil water. FULL STORY

DREADLINE

What If Everybody Promised Not To Kill Anybody
For Just One Day?

Now, here’s a radical idea. As we see the body count pile up in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Africa, along with the daily occurrences of murder worldwide, including right here in the gun-toting USA, we ask ourselves, wouldn’t it be wonderful if everybody would promise not to kill anybody for just one day?

Imagine, an entire 24-hours without a single person being killed by another person? One day and one night without having to see a tearful human being lamenting the murder of someone he or she loves.

A whole rotation of the earth without enduring one murderer inanely presenting himself or herself for justice to be done.

Could a day so blissfully murder-free even convince a would-be malefactor or two not to go ahead with a planned murder scheduled for the next day?

In these spiritually barbarous, though technologically advanced, times, it would, of course, be far too unrealistic to hope that everybody would promise not to kill anybody for two days in a row.
FULL STORY

SHREDITORIAL

Form Of Argument
Used By Terrorists Not In
Aristotle’s Rhetoric

HEY, USA

Surprised Again!
Our Most Powerful Vote Is Not Where We Spend Our Money

FOREIGN FUN

Iran Continues To Star As
The Mouse That Roared

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

SPOOF

The Invention Of Details,
With A Final Q & A Period

Part Eight Of
The Invention Of Everything;
An Eyewitness Account

CULTURE & COMEDY

Celebrities Prove
The Third Answer Exists:
Fame With Power

TECH HUMOR

More Good News
About Booze

CLEVER MONKEY

Lou, The Chimp
For Being 98% Human
And Still Going Strong
After 40 Years In A Cage

WITTY QUOTE

“To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead."

Samuel Butler, Notebooks

About Tom Attea, Humorist