SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

GLOBALIZATION UPDATE
CHINA BECOMES BIG SPENDER
WHILE UNCLE SAM
BECOMES BROKO DE JOKO

How did such a reversal of fortunes happen? How else? Wise calculation in Beijing and abundant stupidity in Washington.

Let’s explore the disparate behavior and its impoverished implications.

First, let’s deal with the anti-globalization plaint. Since the globe is a finite bauble, globalization is inevitable. The only respectable question is, how will it happen – under freedom or totalitarianism? So let’s put down the placards and look reality in the multinational face.

As globalization proceeds apace, our favorite totalitarian trading partner has become the generous visiting billionaire in one underdeveloped nation after another. Meanwhile, our own Uncle Sam can’t afford to participate, at least, at the level he should.

Why? The ill-advised fellow has squandered his wealth so much that he has become Senor Broko De Joko. In fact, the formerly wealthy gentleman is now so down and out he can’t even afford to keep up his own homeland.

How has Uncle Sam been brought to this comparatively helpless state? The explanation is so usual it’s all the more infuriating. He has squandered the national treasury on shaky military investments.

Meanwhile, in the midst of his financial debacle, the future of the globe is being decided.

Is there a merciful way to account for his predicament?
FULL STORY

HUMOROUS FICTION

The North Waziristan Connection

Our key ally in the war on terror, Pervez The Prez, decided to make a surprise visit to Pakistan’s remote tribal region, named, in a wizardly way, North Waziristan.

The US informed him al-Qaeda and the Taliban had established a stronghold there, and his intention all sublime was to meet with three important tribal chieftains to elicit their pledge of help in the war on terror.

In return, he would offer his pledge not to intervene militarily in their beloved mountainous region.

He was plunked down by a helicopter and led to a well-appointed cave in the wall, where the tribal chiefs awaited him with all the mock sincerity they could muster under their infrequently shampooed beards.

“Welcome to North Waziristan, President Mush,” one of the triumvirate of turbaned and bearded galoots said.

“Thank you,” Mush replied. “You can call me Pervez.”

“Good,” a tribal chieftain responded, “Call me Omar.”

“I’m Ayman,” confessed another.

“And I’m Orville,” stated the third.

“Orville?” President Mush questioned with some suspicion. “Funny, that doesn’t sound Pakistani?”

“It’s a nickname,” Orville replied.

“Oh,” Mush commented. “May I ask, what’s your real name?”

“Oh, it’s been so long since I used it I can’t remember,” came the provocative answer.

“Really?” Pervez reacted, and interrogated ever deeper.
FULL STORY

DREADLINE

Iraq Soccer Team Wins
Asian Cup;
May Replace Government

HEY, USA

Foreclosures Rise
But White House Mortgage
Remains Current

FOREIGN FUN

Iraq Parliament
Takes Month Off; Plans To
Go Fishing In Maine

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

SHREDITORIAL

NASA To Equip
International Space Station
With Mini-Bar

CULTURE & COMEDY

Lindsay Lohan
May Open
Drunk Driving School

TECH HUMOR

Remarkable New Way
To Lose Weight:
Lose Your Fat Friends

CLEVER MONKEY

Tony Blair, aka Gordon Brown:
For Arranging A New Visit
To Washington,
Disguised As Gordon Brown

WITTY QUOTE

"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?"
- Will Rogers

About Tom Attea, Humorist