SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

U. N. IDENTIFIES THREE NEW HUMAN SOURCES OF GLOBAL WARMING

The United Nations startled the world community today by identifying three new human sources of global warming.

Naming names, the study identified them as Molten Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hot Hugo Chavez, and Volcanic Vladimir Putin.

Presenting the new study, Ban Ki-Moon, the Secretary-General of the U. N, stated, “While we previously determined that human activity accounts for global warming, we mistakenly believed the main source is the burning of fossil fuels. As a result of this new study, we are drawing up a revised Kyoto protocol that calls upon these three overheated human beings to reduce the soaring temperatures of their speeches.”

The scientist who headed up the study, Theodore Lowe, Ph. D., noted, “The evidence is conclusive. Every time one of these three hot-headed leaders makes a speech a glacier melts. Obviously, this catastrophic environmental mayhem must be stopped!”

Al Gore observed, “When I was a politician, I felt like blowing my top plenty of times. But once I learned how important it is for every one of us to do what he can about global warming, I’ve become a carbon-free speaker. I haven’t lost my temper once. In fact, I’ve become so cool sometimes I may appear to be asleep. But I promise you my eyes are always at least half open.”
FULL STORY

HUMOROUS FICTION

American School Teacher Names Teddy Bear Moses

When an American teacher at a school in Manhattan named a teddy bear Moses, one of her young students told his parents about the matter. They immediately called the principal who headed the school, who quickly called a number of teachers and parents to discuss the situation.

A course of action was determined, and the next day the principal went to the teacher’s classroom.

“I understand you named a teddy bear Moses?” he asked.

“Yes, I did,” she replied. “Did I do something wrong?”

“She didn’t do it!” a child called.

“All she did is ask us to name it,” a third student chimed in.

“My name’s Moses, so I suggested the name,” a third child admitted. “I like having the teddy bear named after me.”

“Will I be flogged and imprisoned?” the teacher wanted to know.

“Why?” he asked, being, fortunately, an enlightened principal. “I think naming it Moses is cute.”

“You do?” she asked.

“Of course,” he replied. “So do the teachers and parents I talked to.”

“My,” the teacher noted, “How different from being a teacher in Sudan!” FULL STORY

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

New DNA Surprise:
Carl Rove And Barack Obama Related

CULTURE & COMEDY

Imus Returns;
Attempts To Become
Wemus

WITTY QUOTE

"If I grew up upon the moon
And saw the blue-white earth
Enshrined in the evening sky,
I’d know where heaven is."
– Charles Blaise,
The Earth, Our Natural Paradise*

*Quoted with permission of ToReasonPublishing.com

About Tom Attea, Humorist