SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

GEORGE BUSH SPEEDS TOWARD POLITICAL SUCCESS IN IRAQ

There are many synonyms for “stubborn,” often derived from reference to the mule. As we go along, we invite you to pop in the one you feel is most appropriate.

The Iraqi resistance to political success is contentiously mule-headed, but George Bush is so determined to get the factions moving that he seems to be sprouting his own telltale ears.

Imagine! Here are the Iraqi factions – a disputatious troika of Shiites, Sunnis, and Kurds – with the promise of a free and prosperous nation before them, but they just can’t bring themselves to put aside their self-interested agendas and pull together.

And here is George Bush, cracking the whip as if the mulish sectarians can somehow transform themselves into a team of dutiful dray horses.

Of course, we understand that the political leaders in Iraq know well that their support depends on their fellow vigilant and self-seeking sectarians, whose agendas they can only moderate at their own political peril – and, given the explosive means of disagreement in Iraq, very likely at the peril of their lives.

The longer Bush insists on whipping the Iraqi government into the enormous agenda of cooperative achievements required for successful nationhood, the longer his own ears will appear to grow.

The truth obtains for the argumentative mules and the insistent mule driver: Jackass behavior begets a jackass destiny.
FULL STORY

HUMOROUS FICTION

The Jerrycan Plan In Iran

“Bottoms up!” an Iranian police officer shouted to a teenager, and held out the spout of a red plastic container, called a jerrycan, which Iranians use to wash their behinds.

“I can’t drink that crap!” the young man protested. “I could get sick, even die of cholera.”

“You have to drink it,” the policeman insisted. “Your T-shirt has been deemed too Western and therefore un-Islamic.”

“A T-shirt is a T-shirt.”

“Yours is too tight.”

“Oh,” the young man said. “Is there anything in the Koran about tight T-shirts?”

“Do not profane the name of the Prophet!” the police officer advised him, and attempted to push the spout into his mouth.

Then he quoted, without knowing he was doing so, a piece of Western doggerel: “Up to the lip and over the gums; watch out, stomach, here it comes!”

Just then a second police officer dragged another young man up to the lip of the jerrycan.

“Here’s another offender,” the second cop proclaimed.

“What’s the charge?” the first officer asked.

“Un-Islamic hair,” he replied, and held out a knot of it. “It’s much too long.”

“Where does the Koran say long hair is sinful?” the second young man wanted to know. “I’ll bet even the Prophet had long hair.”
FULL STORY

DREADLINE

England May Deport
Muslim Extremists To Ireland

HEY, USA

The Paris Hilton Prison Diet;
Overweight Fans
Cut Up At Prisons Nationwide

FOREIGN FUN

Fish Flee China;
Can't Stand
The Contaminated Food

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

SHREDITORIAL

DNA Tests Reveal Ann Coulter
Is Early Primate

CULTURE & COMEDY

Religous Arguments
That Have Gone On For Centuries
Become Hot New Topic

TECH HUMOR

Apple Introduces iPhone;
Millions Hang Up

CLEVER MONKEY

Scotland Yard:
For Preventing Terrorist Attacks With Sleuthing That Would
Make Sherlock Holmes Proud

WITTY QUOTE

"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them." - Albert Einstein

About Tom Attea, Humorist