SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

U.S. SENIORS RETIRING TO IRAQ; SAY THAT'S WHERE
THE MEDICARE MONEY IS.

U. S. senior citizens, noting President Bush’s new budget, which calls for billions to be spent in Iraq while billions are cut from Medicare, are foregoing traditional retirement destinations like Florida and Arizona and opting for Iraq.

The numbers reflect a convincing coincidence. Bush’s budget calls for $100 billion more for Iraq and $100 billion in cuts for Medicare.

Following up on the new retirement trend, we went to Kennedy Airport and caught up with some seniors who were booked for Baghdad.

“Excuse me,” I asked a group of seniors who just stepped off the bus in front of Saudi Arabian Airlines. “I understand you’re all heading for Iraq?”

“That’s right,” a man in Bermuda shorts replied, and reached into his golf bag. He took out a chapeau in the usual mullah fashion. “Got my black turban right here. You know what they say? When in Baghdad, do as the Iraqis do.” FULL STORY

DREADLINE

AHMADINEJAD DEFENDS IRAN’S “INALIENABLE RIGHT”
TO BECOME A NUCLEAR TARGET.

President Mamoud Ahmadinejad defended Iran’s nuclear program in a speech before a group of Islamic clerics, stating, “The Iranian nation has an inalienable right to become a nuclear target.”

Then, conflating a calculated reference to The Declaration of Independence with railway transportation, he added, “The train of the Iranian nation is without brakes and a rear gear. We dismantled the rear gear and brakes of the train and threw them away sometime ago."

“But what happens after we have a nuclear weapon?” a nervous cleric dared to ask.

“I was just getting to that,” Ahmadinejad replied. “Now, some of you might wonder, what is likely to happen as Iran gets closer to having a nuclear weapon? What else? We’ll be attacked.

"And what if we actually threaten to use a nuclear weapon? You guessed it. We’re certain to be attacked.

"And what if we actually succeed in using a nuclear weapon? You guessed right again. We’ll be attacked – and no doubt with nuclear weapons.

"And who will attack us? Israel? America? England? France? Russia? China? The truth is, there are so many nations that might attack us we have absolutely nothing to worry about."
FULL STORY

SHREDITORIAL

A Religion In Need
Of Redemption

HEY, USA

The Story Of
Three Blonde Mice

FOREIGN FUN

Venezuela Becomes Leading Arms Purchaser; Hugo Chavez Now Looks Like King Crab

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

SPOOF

Dick Cheney’s
Wartime Orphanage

CULTURE & COMEDY

Crime At Academy Awards: Gangster Movie Outguns
Little Miss Sunshine

TECH HUMOR

Male Frogs Becoming Female; Female Frogs Object

CLEVER MONKEY

Ammar al-Hakim:
For Blaming U. S. Troops For Abuse When He Was Detained While Returning From Iran

WITTY QUOTE

“The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?” Will Rogers


About Tom Attea, Humorist