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                                                                                                            October 2007                                               ©2007 NewsLaugh.com  

SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

HUMAN BEINGS CALLED INTERMEDIATE STEP ON WAY TO A LOGICAL SPECIES

Humorous illustration: Caveman carving 2 + 2 = War in a rock.

A new study from the Institute for Logical Behavior reports that human beings are evidently not the end of evolution but merely an evolutionary step on the way to a logical species.

The renowned institute bases its findings on the observation of everyday human behavior, which, it concludes, is simply not up to a standard that can be considered logical.

As proof, the study points out numerous instances of illogical thinking by homo sapiens. Among them, we find the following:

1.   The Age of Reason never happened
2.   There is only one God; therefore, mine is different than yours
3.   Life after death is a more attractive idea than life before death
4.   Death is an experience
5.   Actors and singers are extraordinary role models
6.   Virgins are fun to make love with
7.   Being pro-life is about the abortion issue
8.   Your credit score is important
9.   Self-destructive behavior is cool
10. Violence begets agreement
11. Murder resolves marital problems successfully
12. Bank robbery is a promising way to get rich quick
13. Children are desirable sexual objects
14. Making millions enables behavior that is intellectually bankrupt
15. A life-giving God rewards life-taking behavior
16. The way to achieve satisfaction is to always want more
17. Love is more important than kindness
18. The wise conduct of a nation is to improve the rest of the world
19. Information is more important than character
20. 2 + 2 is only about mathematics
FULL STORY

HUMOROUS FICTION

Suicide Bomber Shops For Life Insurance

A suicide bomber named Ali-Bye saw a commercial by Prudential of Iraq and became concerned about what could happen to his family after he completed his mission. He decided that the next day he would go shopping for life insurance.

In the morning, he opened the Baghdad Yellow Pages and leafed through them, an activity that required extraordinary dexterity, because the reference book was still smoldering from having been sitting nearby when a fellow practitioner of his life-abbreviating vocation swung into action.

Ali quickly noticed that, due to the self-inflicted precariousness of mercantile activity in the ancient city, there was only one insurance company to consider. He wrote down the address, tucked it under his suicide belt, and headed for Prudential.

As he walked along the bustling street, he considered the various innocent men, women, and children he might blow up as meritorious service to Allah, but decided to restrain himself until he was covered by life insurance.

After a time, he came upon the company, which was located in a storefront at street level, no doubt due to the shortage of taller buildings that were still standing. He entered and found an unsuspecting receptionist.

She looked up, smiled, and asked, “How can I help you?”

“I want to buy life insurance,”
Ali-Bye told her.

“Of course,” she replied, and picked up the phone. “We have a customer....Yes, right away.” She hung up and smiled. “Please, follow me.” FULL STORY

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

Bill Asks Hillary If He Can Be The Vice President;
Blames Idea On Vladimir Putin

CULTURE & COMEDY

New Rapper
Named MM Trash
Tops Charts

WITTY QUOTE

"What experience and history teach is this: people and governments have never learned anything from history or acted on principles deduced from it." – Hegel

About Tom Attea, Humorist

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