SANELY FUNNY COVER STORY

GREAT WALL OF CHINA
MAY BE REPAIRED
WITH LEAD-TAINTED TOYS

Remember the lifelong anxiety you’ve experienced, worrying about the crumbling of The Great Wall of China? Fret no more.

Now, humanity's longest tribute to war-wrought paranoia may be on the mend.

It seems the enterprising communist nation has an abundant new supply of materials to rebuild it with: The millions of lead-loaded toys, bibs and other children’s paraphernalia its cheapo manufacturers shipped off to Mattel and other toy makers, appalling mothers by the millions.

But, as Confucius say, “Toys made with lead paint eventually return to factory."

Or, in a more contemporary vein, "From China with lead" is turning into "Back at you from America."

Even as you read this, the varicolored plastic remedy continues to tend toward its eternal destiny, as ships laden with returned Barbie Dolls, Mattel Cars, painted bibs and other infant delights steam back to the disgraced land of their origin.
FULL STORY

HUMOROUS FICTION

Mahmoud And The Talking Camel

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the feisty and foolish President of Iran, was coming back from one of his frequent addresses to students, who always agree with him 100%, when a camel walked out onto the road his limo was zipping along.

“Look, a camel,” called his perceptive driver, slamming on the brakes.

“Just give him a minute,” Mahmoud observed sagely, “and I’m sure he’ll cross the road to get to the other side.”

“Why?” the bodyguard next to the driver asked, inadvertently poking himself in the eye with his AK-47.

“To get a drink of water,” witty Mahmoud suggested.

“Ha,” chuckled the driver and the bodyguard, making up, through their feigned camaraderie, the usual “Ha, ha.”

But, instead of behaving as projected, the camel ambled up to the limo and looked in at Mahmoud. Then, quite to the Mayor-turned-President’s surprise, it began to move its lips as if it was speaking in Farsi.

Ever the obliging pawn of the ruling mullahs, Mahmoud rolled down his window, and asked, “Can I help you?”

“Yez, Prez,” the camel replied, with a curious accent that seemed to be due to its rubbery lips.

Astonished, Mahmoud exclaimed, “How can a camel talk?”

“It’z a special gift from Allah.”
FULL STORY

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

Senator Craig Re-Explains
Upturned Hand;
Says He Was Panhandling

CULTURE & COMEDY

Music Biz Ails;
Columbia Hires Canary
As Song Consultant

WITTY QUOTE

"There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste."

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

About Tom Attea, Humorist