HUMOROUS FICTION

American School Teacher Names Teddy Bear Moses

When an American teacher at a school in Manhattan named a teddy bear Moses, one of her young students told his parents about the matter. They immediately called the principal who headed the school, who quickly called a number of teachers and parents to discuss the situation.

A course of action was determined, and the next day the principal went to the teacher’s classroom.

“I understand you named a teddy bear Moses?” he asked.

“Yes, I did,” she replied. “Did I do something wrong?”

“She didn’t do it!” a child called.

“All she did is ask us to name it,” a third student chimed in.

“My name’s Moses, so I suggested the name,” a third child admitted. “I like having the teddy bear named after me.”

“Will I be flogged and imprisoned?” the teacher wanted to know.

“Why?” he asked, being, fortunately, an enlightened principal. “I think naming it Moses is cute.”

“You do?” she asked.

“Of course,” he replied. “So do the teachers and parents I talked to.”

“My,” the teacher noted, “How different from being a teacher in Sudan!”

“Evidently, very different,” he agreed. “I’m sure you and your students think a lot of the name Moses or you wouldn’t have picked it.”

“That’s right!” the child the teddy bear was named after volunteered.

“We call him Mo for short,” another child said.

“Mo?” the principal asked.

“I’m afraid so,” the teacher admitted.

“Not to worry,” he told her. “I know a lot of men named Moses who are called Mo. I even have an uncle Mo. So this is what I’ve decided. You obviously know how to involve the children. So I’m giving you a raise.”

“Oh, thank you,” she said. “But the children deserve it as much as I do.”

“No, you take it,” a student insisted.

“But are you sure I deserve it?” she asked the principal. “We all know the teacher in Sudan didn’t get a raise.”

“Yes, we do,” he acknowledged.

“And, if a teacher in a Christian school asked their children to name a teddy bear, and they picked ‘Jesus,’ do you think she would get a raise?” the teacher speculated.

“Why, she might,” the principal decided, “especially if she was teaching in a school with a lot of Hispanic children, since many of them are named Jesus.”

“But get a raise?”

“I have no way of knowing,” the principal told her. “I am, however, relatively certain she would not be flogged and sent to prison, especially since this is no longer The Dark Ages, at least, in America and a great deal of the rest of the world.”

“But the English teacher in Sudan didn’t get a raise,” the teacher insisted.

“I think we have to leave that up to the Muslims,” he replied. "Religious freedom is a mutual obligation."

“Yes, I’m afraid we do,” she conceded. “Well, at least they agreed not to flog her.”

“Yes, they did.”

“And the president of Sudan released her from jail six days before her 15-day sentence was over.”

“I think we can commend him for that,” he agreed.

“But to talk about the matter generally, don’t you think a religion is better off when children are given reasons to like the prophet who founded it?”

“Why, that’s exactly the conclusion we reached when I talked to the children’s parents.”

“I’m so glad,” the teacher told him. “I’m not sure the children in Sudan, who have now lost a wonderful teacher, are so happy to play with the teddy bear they named Mohammed.”

“That’s a very pertinent observation,” he concluded.

Just then a student asked, “Can we play with Moses now?”

“Of course, you can,” the teacher said, and handed the teddy bear to the principal. “You give it to them.”

“Thank you,” he said, “my pleasure.”

When he gave it to the students, they began to hug and kiss it and talk to it. T

he teacher looked on with a smile, and so did the principal, who noticed how much the children loved Moses and that, even when they called it Mo, it seemed no worse for the wear.

By Tom Attea

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