WHAT THE TECH

SATELLITE RADIO AND MISSING TERRESTRIAL DJ'S

We all hear of the wonders of satellite radio, aside from the relative and not entirely unwelcome invisibility it has provided the previously overly visible rabble rouser, Howard Stern. (See our choice, for not entirely commendable activity, of Clever Monkey of the Week.)

The litany of its attractions is one we’re all by now exhausted hearing: basically, no commercials and over a hundred channels to choose from. So we decide to try it. Nice, even if the overhead signal is frequently interrupted by a variety of intrusions, such as overhanging trees, road-crossing wires, and atmospheric disturbances.

But then, as we become more critical, we realize that, while the satellite companies offer over a hundred channels, it’s improbable that they could afford over a hundred disc jockeys. Suspecting a red herring, we begin to hear radio personalities who appear to be from a hitherto unknown place we might characterize as Rent-A-DJ. Many of them sound familiar; in fact, they sound as if we might have heard them on regular stations we’ve listened to. What we do know for certain is, they’re not our favorite DJ’s. In fact, their ever-smiling enthusiasm strikes us as just as insincere as it did we might have heard them on ground-locked radio.

Then the unexpected nostalgia settles in. We begin to miss our favorite terrestrial radio personalities and the complex of likable and unlikable attributes that constitute what were hitherto our favorite terrestrial stations.

What, we wonder, are they saying and playing today? Gee, we realize, we wouldn’t mind hearing them, even if we have to hearken to a plethora of commercials by companies who, by the way, are supporting our favorite DJ or DJ’s.

Like it or not, he or she or they have become part of how we see ourselves – and the fabric of our lives seems incomplete without them. We actually miss their ways and wiles.

So back to good old terrestrial radio we trundle, while, just in case we change our minds or out of pure lethargy, we continue to pay the monthly charge for satellite radio.

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