TECH HUMOR

Fritos Now Heart Healthy;
People Who Overeat Them May Stop Getting Heart Attacks

It is a little known fact that, if you light the corner of a Frito chip with a match, it will burn much like a candle – a flaming indication that there’s a load of fat and oil in there. And people who munch on them usually assume that they may be working toward clogging their arteries and are more likely, at a certain surprising time in the future, to have a heart attack.

Now, however, Frito-Lay, the maker of the crispy little oil containers, has announced that it now makes them in a way that is actually heart healthy. And they plan to put the announcement on the bags of the crunchy morsels.

According to the FDA, the company notified it about its intention to put the claim on products with “vegetable oils, spreads and shortenings that have a total unsaturated fat content” of 80 percent or more of total fat. The claim would be used for, not only snacks, but sauces and dips that contain such oil.

It would state, “Replacing saturated fat with similar amounts of unsaturated fats may reduce the risk of heart disease. To achieve this benefit, total daily calories should not increase.”

To verify that a change may have taken place, we ourselves conducted a new experiment on a Frito chip. We can report that, when a match is held to the edge, it still ignites. But, of course, now it shines, or will soon illuminate, with heart-healthy oil.

We assume that Frito-Lay, to back up its claim, will eventually produce evidence that people who overeat their oily contrivances will now have fewer heart attacks than people who eat such delights that are made by the company’s less-salubrious competitors.

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