HEY, USA

Ford Talks With Toyota,
As In Chicken Farmer Seeks Advice From Fox

The new CEO of Ford flew to Japan to seek the advice of the CEO of Toyota, who managed not to laugh in his face.

There were two precedents. When the defects were on the other side, Toyota came to get advice from Ford, not once, but twice. Naturally, forthright Ford obliged.

We understand the chairman of Toyota was as helpful as possible. In fact, he gave the Ford exec a present: a gold screwdriver.

“See, a screwdriver,” he said, pointing to it. “You use it to screw cars together. The idea is to turn the screws so they’re all the way in. That way the car won’t squeak, rattle, and fall apart right after the customer drives it out of the lot. You’d be surprised what that can do for sales.”

The Ford CEO thanked him profusely and returned home, determined to take the sage man’s advice. He was, however, torn between trying to explain the proper use of a screwdriver to Ford’s remaining workers or replacing them with robots, who, he felt, are less likely to reply, “What do you know about how to use a screwdriver?”

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