WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

NOMINEE INSISTS CIA MUST GET OUT OF THE NEWS; NO SECRET AGENTS LEFT

Four-Star General Michael Hayen, in confirmation hearings before the Senate, insisted that it’s time for the CIA “to get out of the news.” He went on to explain, “We’re supposed to be a secret outfit but between illegal disclosures of our members, hearings about how we’re handling things, and nominations, we don’t have any secret agents left.”

In response to his plea, the committee continued to grill him while a crowd of news photographers continued to snap pictures of him, which would no doubt appear on the front pages of newspapers around the world.

The General, continuing to make his case, pleaded, “How can you infiltrate a terror cell undetected when your face has been plastered all over the place?”

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