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Senator’s Sex Tax Ruled Illicit

The devout Senator from Iowa, Republican Charles Grassley, decided on the ethical imperative of stamping out the sex trade with a tax on pimps and prostitutes and then tossing the ones who evade payment in the hoosegow.

The bill would authorize at least $2 million to install an office in the Internal Revenue Service Criminal Investigation unit to chase down denizens of the oldest profession who don’t ante up.

Grassley said, "This vile crime is under our noses in the United States, and it's a no-brainer to have the IRS go after sex traffickers. Prosecuting these tax code violations can get these guys off the street and yank from their grasp the girls and women they exploit."

Grassley's generous proposal calls for sending a pimp to prison for up to 10 years for each prostitute for whom the pimp hasn't filed a W-2. Doing the math, a pimp who gets caught with ten unregistered prostitutes would be off the street for a century, during which period there can be absolutely no doubt that his pimp mobile would be towed.

Carol Leigh, a rep for the Bay Area Sex Worker Advocacy Network in San Francisco, commented, "Forced labor, kidnapping should be targeted. But this legislation broadly targets the sex trade in general and could target your local strip club. We want laws enforced against those who abuse us, against those who are violent, and enforcement of labor regulations. That is the only truly effective way to protect the welfare of the women who work in the industry."

Patrons of the night lamented that the bill would make it even more difficult to have a reckless fling, even in the nation’s capital of play for pay, Las Vegas.

The legislation seemed about as practical as passing on that calls for law-abiding revelers who feel like a lowdown good time, including the rare senator who might opt for such a chancy escapade, to add 10% to a femme fatale’s tariff and report it on their taxes.

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