WEATHER AND POLLUTION

As snow piles up in the Northeast and the glaciers continue to melt in Alaska, confused Eskimos have been migrating to Times Square.

Displaced and confused, they are now appealing to Mayor Michael Bloomberg to mandate reduced parking rates for dogsleds.

So far the mayor has resisted their importunities, saying, “There can be no preferential treatment for any particular segment of New York society.  We’re all overpaying for parking space and that’s actually good for the city’s finances, because when people can’t afford the lots and park on the street, we can issue them parking tickets. If you take a look at the city budget, you’ll see that, without the income generated by parking tickets, New York City would have to make up the shortfall by selling the island of Manhattan back to the Indians, so they can open what they have discovered to be their way to the American dream, casinos, and the city can tap that lucrative resource.  So the question is, what do you want – reduced parking rates or casinos?”

The Eskimos unexpectedly lauded his statement, because they informed him that they were also American Indians and expected to participate in any possible buyback of the island, along with casino development.

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